We all need to grow up sometime.

But I don't think that means what I thought it means.

In my new red sunglasses...

Saturday morning has been a lazy morning. Everyone stayed up really late last night (A Friday night at college... it's understandable, right?) Two of my roommates have gone home for the weekend (Ben to get his drumset, I can't wait to jam! And Bryan so ho can talk to his parents about all of the changes college has brought to his doorstep... not a bad idea) And almost everyone else is off at away cross-country meets or soccer matches. So Jacob (My remaining roommate), C-Berry, as we so affectionately call him, and I ate breakfast and decided on a whim to go outside and enjoy the beautiful day. We took off our shoes halfway between the Great Hall (The dining hall) and the overlook (because we're college students, and we don't care about leaving our shoes about) and sat and talked about many things such as the view, the young couple also enjoying the view (we decided that they were gross... couples... yuck), the tour guide showing a possible new student and his excited family around the points of interest around the campus... like our overlook, aaaaannnnd butterflies. It all started when C-Berry said, "A butterfly!" We watched the little yellow guy flit around for a little while until C-Berry started to tell us about a man of whom he had heard. This man, apparently was very skeptical of God and angrily wanted proof of His existence. So the man said to God, "If you're real then touch me somehow." A butterfly then landed on his shoulder and the man just brushed it away. Then C-Berry said, "What better way is there for God to touch you than with a butterfly landing on your shoulder?" Then I remembered... Crap! I need to change my laundry! So we decided to get our books/ change our laundry and meet back at the overlook in ten minutes to get started on our reading due on Monday. So I changed my laundry (It's about time that I change it again, actually) and I grabbed my books for my Old Testament class and went back to the overlook. I tried reading in several different spots (One was too uncomfortable. One was too hot. One was in the shade and was just right... I'm such a Goldilocks) So I sat under the tree ( I'm still there now, actually... I really do need to change my laundry) and started reading Genesis for Old Testament class through chapter 2 when I laid down and looked up. It was one of those moments that I can't fully describe to you, but I'll try anyways. The sky was perfectly blue and I saw it through the leaves of the tree above me... and the breeze was pushing them around... and there was that sound the wind makes when it blows leaves around... it was great. Anyways, I started praying and thinking about my relationships with people here, my relationships with people at home, relationships I wish weren't, and relationships I wish were, until I realized that I have been wasting my time for a long time. I've been so caught up on people and how I wish they were, and how I wish I felt about them, that I had completely forgotten that our true purpose is not in our relationships with other people. Don't get me wrong, I love people, Jesus said that the greatest of these is to love God and love one another as yourself... so I don't take that lightly, but I get so caught up in my feelings about people that I forget that we are to encourage each other in our walks with our Lord and to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. That moment I felt so close to God, not that He was ever far away, but I had just started listening, and for a while I forgot about my stupid feelings, and I thought about my friends the way I should. People I love. I can't let my feelings get in the way of His plan for me, even if I have no idea what the plan is. I know my stupid emotional feelings will be back and get in the way, but I need to remember... we need to remember that God is in control and knows His own plans for us. And I'm pretty sure His plan is better than any that we could come up with... just sayin'. Then I saw something out of the corner of my eye land on my shoulder... It stayed just long enough for me to see it, but not really comprehend what happened before it flitted off... I really need to change my laundry.

College is cool. I like it.

It's been my first week of college already! It seems like struggling to finish exams of my senior year while eagerly anticipating the summer of O' ten was just yesterday. But now Orientation week a Covenant is over, and today is my first day of class. I'm back into the swing of things, but it's a completely different swing of things at the same time. Orientation was a lot like a summer camp. We had O-Teams (Orientation Teams) with O-Team leader (counselors) where they grouped about 16 people with the same major into a group. That group is my Christian Mind class (I need to finish reading for that... I hope this blog post is worth postponing my homework for). Our group is really cool. Apparently anyone who majors in Biology is an awesome person. Huh, who knew? So a bunch of the people in my O-Team (Christian Mind class) are also in my other classes because we have the same major. The people in my hall are also really cool. My room is the four person room, and our hall doesn't have a commons, so our room is the hang-out place. I like it right now, but I'm not sure how cool that will be when I have to study haha. We bunked our beds so I'm about 8 feet off the ground when I go to bed. Pray that I don't kill myself by rolling off in the middle of the night. haha
Even though I expected that college would be different than I expected... There are a view things that never I didn't expect to happen. 1. I brush my teeth about 4 times a day. It must be because I'm constantly around people who I want to like me... and clean teeth is a way to do that. 2. The food is actually really good. There HAVE been exceptions. Like the pizza that tasted like cardboard with a cheesy aftertaste thing... but generally it's really good. 3. I've only played one game of Ultimate and I haven't played one game of soccer yet. 4. I know a lot more guys than girls. In highschool, I think I mostly hung out with the babes... Yeah. Here, I only know a few girls, but they're all cool. I live on an all-boys hall (Obviously) so I see only guys when I'm "at home" in my dorm. I actually think it's kind of cheap to be looking for girls to hang out with, personally. It's pretty lame to completely blow off the guys for the girls. Those are my thoughts on that subject. Lame is bad.
Ok. Last night. Was one of the best nights of my life. It all started at The Blink, which is like a cafeteria that opens at night after the real cafeteria closes. It's the late-night hang out place... there's a giant chess board on the floor... it's cool. Anyways, I was there, hangin' with ma buds, when some of those cool ladies that I know who I mentioned previously came up to us and said they were going down to Jackson pond and "You should come too!" So me and my friends Jake were shown how to get to Jackson pond by some of my Sophomore friends from Asheville, where we proceeded to build a fire. They told us that we HAD to go swimming, so we walked around the pond (It's more of a small lake... large pond... small lake) where our friends who invited us down there were waiting at The Tree. This tree is really tall and someone tied a hammock to the top, and it leans out over the water... So you're supposed to climb the tree up to the hammock and jump into the water below. It was about eleven or twelve when we did this, so it was really dark... you're pretty much jumping into nothingness. It was awesome. It's one of those things where your stomach feels like it's in your brain and then SPLASH! Then we swam across the lake to the fire... After we got to the fire, someone asked if we had swam, (swimmed? swum?) on our backs looking at the stars and said it was his favorite thing in the world. I did do that, and I agree. Someone brought some poetry books and we read some poetry and from the Bible... I highly suggest doing this next time you have a fire. Then we sang hymns and prayed until about 1:30 when we decided that we should probably go to bed. Best day yet. Let's see if anything can compare in these next four years.

Last week

This is my last week at home before I leave for big-kid-school... This is strange. We spend three hours at Walmart tonight buying different stuff I might need... Chuck (my fish) has a new little green net so I don't have to pick him up with my hands when I change his water! Not that I mind... He probably would like the little green net better. *sigh*... Here I am, full of weird feelings I've never really dealt with before, while I set up a skype account so I can stay in touch with people I normally see everyday or could call up and go see, listening to sad music (I do that anyways haha), and trying to decide how much construction paper I should bring, and the best thing I can think to talk about is my fish. Maybe college will teach me how to be a better blogger... Yes. I will keep this up through the next few years. I'm excited though, don't get me wrong. I'm sure I'm about to make some friendships that will last for the rest of my life, and memories that will last perhaps a bit shorter than that. And I have some of the best encouragement pouring from my friends and family. This will be a great trip, friends! I'll be sure to keep you all updated!

I find it too easy to be selfish. So don't let me.

There's a darkness upon me that's flooded in light.
In the fine print they tell me what's wrong and what's right
And it comes in black and it comes in white
And I'm frightened by those who don't see it. - Head Full of Doubt by The Avett Brothers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E22HprMQN8M&feature=related

On a different note, I've noticed recently how selfish I am. But noticing it doesn't stop it, and it gets in the way of my eternal purpose. So praise God that it's flooded in Light. I just pray that it shows.

Jenna told me to get on with my blog. So I will.

It's been a while since I last posted anything to this here blog thing. I don't really have an excuse.... I just didn't know what to write, since I can only type about deep philosophical subjects every so often (My brain is small... it takes a while to recharge.) This past week was VBS (excuse me... Arts and Sports Camp) at our church. Besides getting emotionally and physically drained... and not to mention sunburned, it was a pretty gosh darn good week. I tried to teach the kids my limited knowledge of soccer and then I played ye ol' geetar for the praise band. So two of the things I love most were put together into one week, so I was happy. Tonight was the final shabang when all the kids got to show off what they learned followed by an ice cream social. It was all fun, but I'm glad it's over. Now college is only a few weeks away... I think reality is slowly starting to set in because I got my roommate assignments this week... You mean I can't live in my house anymore? I could use some prayer... I'm excited but oh so nervous. I have made some of the best friends I could ask for in highschool, and my only hope is that those will last through college... Another one of my greatest fears is that some of the people that I love and hold dear now will fade away as I grow older. So.. if you're reading this... keep that in mind. I'm sure I will make some great friendships through college though... which is comforting, but they could never replace the ones I have now.
Wow... I am tired. Maybe I can actually sleep in tomorrow. Keep in touch, friends!

Late night racing

It is approximately half-past eleven as I type this Friday night. My mind is in that weird place between racing and falling asleep, and I figured that now would be a good time as any to type out my thoughts. Today was another productive day of random chores around the house. I personally abhor staying at home without seeing civilization for days on end... I would have failed the Little House on the Prairie days... well, at least the first few books, you know, until that town pops up. I really don't know what I would do without our advanced communication that we take for granted so. That scares me. I can think of several people off the top of my head that I wouldn't see if it weren't for cell phones or Facebook, but the thought of being dependent on something so worldly and artificial frightens the dickens out of me. I have found that possibly my greatest fear is being just like everyone else. Just another person to go through the cycle of growing up, stuffing as much knowledge into our lazy little brains as our educational system tells us that we can, joining the rat race for money and meaning, and dying with as many toys as we can collect for ourselves. Maybe my fear also explains my eagerness to hate pop music... Thankfully, Jesus has made me NOT just like everyone else. I have a purpose, and that purpose is His purpose, His plan. "I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." My future isn't filled with "toy collecting" and money hoarding... as my beloved pastor says, "Even if you win the rat race, and collect more money and possessions than anyone else... You're still a rat."... My future is planned out for His glory for His devine and perfect purpose. That is a very comforting thought....
.... What was I talking about? Oh yeah.... so today was a productive day... I have found out how lazy I really am this year. Senioritis is a jerk... hehe... WAS a jerk. Graduation, you are so close! There are still so many things I need to do on a daily basis... It seems that senioritis was less of a senior thing and more of a life-long hindrance thing. I find myself getting almost angry when I'm reminded to do my daily chores.... Curse you sinful nature of mine! I was reminded by my guitar strumming philosopher friend (I will henceforth refer to her as Juana) of the importance of hard work and the pleasure it brings to our Father in Heaven. (She's also my main inspiration for starting this here blog thing.) I recently recieved two separate copies of John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life from two separate people, which I take as a blunt hint from God to read one of them. Piper mentions that "it was not always plain to me that pursuing God's glory would be virtually the same as pursuing my joy. Now I see that millions of people waste their lives because they think that these paths are two and not one." Point is, work brings joy to you and glory to God... seems like a worthy endeavor to me.
Ok... it's now the wee hours of Saturday morning... and I have some work to do tomorrow morning... Woohoo!
Goodnight.